Now, there are a lot of theories and books out their on the market on dating for guys, and for those new to this sphere dating the way I define it is getting yourself to the first few dates with a girl. However, there is a caveat but you must read on to find it. My journey started off with a simple book called Double Your Dating which I promote heavily because it is a resource that I personally used to form a great foundation for me to get this area of my life handled. I bought Double Your Dating and the Advanced Series. You see I had previously began to get other areas of my life together, but this one area (women...I wanted a girlfriend specifically) is one that I never quite got the hang of. Whenever my cousin told me about Double Your Dating, I immediately went and bought it. I studied it heavily and afterwards..I felt so full of hope and optimism that I went out and began practicing the book's techniques. I love the book because it lays solid fundamentals (please note there is more to this article than just a plug for Double Your Dating so please keep reading) AND the book espouses getting your inner psychology together. You see I have had the privilege of hanging out with a majority of all the major professional attraction coaches AND I have seen many guys with many philosophies. Some are purely outergame based and have very sophisticated theories and ideas as to how it attraction and seduction works AND yet other experts don't have quite the sophistication yet still produce results. HOw is that? Well, it is because they have their inner psychology together. I heard a great exercise from Tony Robbins that you probably can apply it to any area of your life. The basic thing is to write down all your fears and all the things that you don't want to do BUT have to do in order to accomplish the goal and resolve to face those fears AND resolve to do those things that you'd rather not do UPFRONT. Again, the exercise comes straight from Eben Pagan's interview with Tony Robbins. What are your inner conflicts with dating and women? Here are some realities of getting your soulmate that you are going to have to face up front

REALITY #1.) You will be laughed at, feel humiliated, feel discouraged, feel like quitting, go out nights and be challenging by your fears, feel insecure.

RESOLVE TO HANDLE THESE WHEN THEY COME UP

REALITY#2.) Myth: That you can find some magic recipe that will make the journey easy and painless

HAHAHAHAH - yeah right this is going to be a journey that is going to stretch you beyond all belief. If you think it is going to be easy and you can find some magic way of attracting girls on the internet that will be sweet and easy, YEAH RIGHT.

REALITY#3) That you will have to get good with women before you can attract your soulmate.

Here are some things that I did to begin the process of getting good with women. First off, I knew very little about women, so following a "naturals" advice (someone who is already successful with women) advice, I purchased Sex and the City to get a better idea into dating and sex. If I were thinking about it now, here are some other things to do to help you learn about women and dating

1.) Californication (watch how smooth Hank Moody is)

2.) Tough Love (begin to understand the kinds of things that women look for AND the internal struggles they face)

3.) Read Susan Jeffers "Feel the fear and do it anyway" along with her companion book "End the Struggle and Dance with Life"

4.) Workout consistently AND intensely (helps out with overall stamina)

5.) Attend a Landmark Seminar (really great stuff on healing your relationships)

Ok, so with that said, the next step is the hardest one is to get out there and start approaching. This is the crucial step that you must maintain throughout your entire journey with women until you meet your soulmate. It is a common excuse to not approach women for a variety of reasons BUT the people that I saw with these excuses are still single today. There are a variety of techniques to help you overcomes your fears, but at the bottom of the day, the release should compel you to start taking action. These are the ones that I have found to work for me:

1.) Tony Robbin's Unleash the Power Within

2.) Finding a buddy who is fearless OR will get you to approach women

3.) Completely immerse yourself in reading about the tales of the professional pick up artists (PUAs as they are called) on fastseduction.com (some of the names to read about are Tyler Durden, Sinn, Captain Jack, Mystery, PlayboyLA, BradP, etc).

4.) Join a local seduction group that incorporates approaching as one of its many activities (it's great to go to a group BUT if it doesn't lead for you to actually talk with new women and try the techniques THEN it was just more information). A common doctrine in the attraction and seduction community is 2:1 -- for every 1 hour of study you should be out there approaching women for 2 hours.

5.) Use Mystery's method of x number of approaches per night and follow through with it! (Me personally, I would go out and say ok tonight I am going to do 12 approaches, and I would not go home until I had done all 12 approaches)

6.) In the beginning of my journey, I started off just telling girls that they were beautiful and walking off (this can lead to a bad habit of "ejecting early" or in laymen's terms leaving the interaction prior to a successful outcome or her asking you to leave). With all that said, this approach of just walking up to women and saying hi nonetheless helped me. I

7.) I also joined a dating site where I would get women's instant messaging screennames, and have short fun flirtation interactions. I think this was good because it got me more interactions with women is so crucial. One thing I used to teach is that a hot women has been approaches 1,000s of times, so her social intelligence is highly cultivated AND it is time for you to do the same.

Again though, I think that you have to get past all your inner conflicts because without this crucial step you won't take the amount of action necessary to see results. You should follow TR's formula of 1.) Your vision and why, 2.) model the best, 3.) resolve innerconflicts then that will help you out. The key is are you taking new massive action. The reason why I say you have to resolve your innerconflicts is because you will need to stick with this and go talk with 20-30 new girls per week (my own estimation), so that you begin to remold your personality that will be one that will attract your soulmate. Now, one other thing to do as you start off on this Journey (credit TR for this one but I think he got this from someone else). Create a list of all the attractive qualities you want in a female AND all the attractive qualities that you would rather not have in your soulmate. THEN, after you have made that list, ask yourself which of these are "musts" and which ones are nice to haves. But, here is where it gets good, then create a list of the qualities that YOU would need to have in order to attract that person and then focus on cultivating those in yourself. Does that make sense? Basically, it's list attractive qualities in a mate THEN list traits that you would need to have in order to cultivate that personality. An easy tip that you can do is ask yourself "What is something [insert trait] that I can do today?" One thing you can do to cultivate these new qualities in yourself is to pursue goals and hobbies that will help you develop those qualities. Like if you want to be brave, sky diving and rollercoaster riding is a great start BUT taking action is still key. It's good to have that list and keep it handy and reflect on it throughout your journey.

One thing that also helped me in "opening more sets" (translation talking to more women) was having a few openers (canned conversation starters) and other canned (prescripted) material because it gave me more confidence. However, I think that without sufficient social intelligence you can use canned lines as an excuse to not learn anything SO I would recommend you make it a daily practice to listen to an NLP track from Richard Bandler on a daily basis. This will help keep your mind sharp, so you can begin to notice all the subtitles in your interactions and notice which of the things you say yield the best responses -- basically, so you can learn.

Hang out with naturals (guys naturally good with women) but don't go out at night with naturals (naturals can be fun some nights, jealous others, and a drag other nights). Your free time should NOT be spent with other people who you are pursuing becoming more successful with women with BUT instead should be spent with other naturals. If naturals don't want to hang out with you, then make it your job to be cool. Make a study of cool. Find out what are cool clothes, cool music, cool movies. What is cool? In my opinion, it is just an emotion or a feeling that you get. Point of the matter is that a natural has all the attractive traits that you want to rub off on you, so you need to get a baseline of coolness to hang out with them.

Be fearless - I met my wife by approaching a group of people -- men and women (given she did make eye contact with me)

New Strategies and Tips -- If I was doing it all over again, I would follow the above AND I would consult and study from the following teachers

1.) Brad P (really good with women and solid fundamentals)

2.) Captain Jack (his stuff on sexual framing is really powerful)

3.) Sinn (he is massively intelligent and everytime I spoke with him or read his stuff it really made a lot of sense to me)

4.) El Topo - a very close friend of mine highly recommended his stuff

Also, I would listen to NLP consistently to help keep a flood of good positive feelings. I would work with a good coach/therapist to help me resolve my deep inner conflicts. I would ensure that I had a job because women ain't going to get you a job -- unless it is a pickup instructor which is a dead end job. I would pick up the practice of meditating just 2 minutes morning and night. Stay disciplined...you need to have your life together because then you can really capture in your mind and on paper what is working and what is not. Without this simple step, you will not be able to have the same success level. However, getting your life together is not an excuse to stop going out and approaching women. This needs to be a weekly if not daily practice just like going to the gym or anything like that. Approaching women has to be a habit until you meet your soulmate AND no half ass approaches, when you do an approach you need to put your heart and soul into it. As my mentor Joseph Faust (www.josephfaust.com) taught me, practice does not make perfect....perfect practice makes perfect.

Other tips for your journey...as you are meeting women the fundamental mindshift that really helped me was learning that you had to first have sex with women before you could pursue them for a relationship. Being a virgin when I first began this journey, I had no idea that that is how it was supposed to go. I just thought you would make eye contact, fall in love, have sex and live happily ever after. The process is actually more like: eye contact, sex, fall in love, and live happily after. Throughout my process, I learned that these were biggest breakthrough points for me

Learning to Kiss a woman

Having sex

Getting dates

The funny thing that I noticed along the journal is really best encapsulated "Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them" - Suzanne Necker. I know someone who as soon as he had these skills over time began to cheat on his girlfriends AND even in myself, I noticed that if I was in a relationship I would miss the single life with the "thrill of the kill" so to speak. That is, the thrill that you get right before you are about to have sex with a new woman but I also know that it is a rather emptiness and any positive feeling soon fades.

Anyways, so once you have the girl, then my experience has taught me that you need to see her on a fairly frequent basis in order to loop her into a relationship. Now, in order to do that should be simply. Now, voila, once you have done that you should have her in a relationship.

The final step is relationship maintenance, there is no other better resource that I have found for relationships than Tony Robbins. I recommend:

1.) Tony Robbin's Ultimate Relationship Program

2.) Tony Robbing's Date with Destiny